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MARY Then the daddies come back.
PETER (TO MARY) Hello dear.
HE KISSES HER.
MARY Hello.
PETER Has the baby put out a lot of shit?
MARY Yes, darling.
PETER I’ve got some money for the box.
MARY That will help black out the shit.
PETER We must be careful not to get shit in the money box.
PAUL (TO MARY) Hello darling.
HE KISSES HER.
MARY Hello dear.
PAUL Today I got some good money.
MARY Things will be easier.
PAUL We will know where to put everything.
MARY Certainly. Another daddy comes home from getting money.
PETER (TO MARY) I’m back from out getting money.
MARY I’ve been generally putting the shit in the right place.
PETER That baby!
THEY LAUGH.
MARY Some of the women don’t have any man.
(SHE LOOKS UPSET)
Humph.
PETER MOVES TOWARDS MARY (ENACTING ANOTHER MAN)
PETER Hello pet.
MARY No.
PETER I’ve been working and I expect you’ve been putting the shit and the money in different places.
MARY No.
PETER Has the baby done so much shit that the money is obscured by it?
MARY No.
PAUL (ENACTING ANOTHER MAN. ADDRESSING MARY) Hello baa lamb.
MARY How many wives have you got? There’s only one each.
PAUL I’m coming home and then I’m coming home and I’ve been working and I’ve been working.
MARY I don’t like that. You can’t have two lives one either side of the street.
PAUL I am a boss and I’?m looking for a lovely partner.
MARY Ugh.
PETER She doesn’t want it.
PAUL But I am a boss.
PETER Do you have some papers or certificates?
PAUL GOES TO THE CHEST OF DRAWERS AND OPENS A DRAWER. IT IS FULL TO THE BRIM WITH BLOOD. HE PULLS OUT A SHEAF OF PAPERS.
PAUL Some of these are papers and some are certificates.
MARY May I study them, please?
PAUL HANDS THE PAPERS TO MARY
They say that you are in fact the man who went off to war from the village years ago and then they found out that there wasn’t a war on. But that was many years ago and now you are back and we wonder who you are. And look - this certificate seems to suggest that you left behind you loved ones and blood relations.
PETER LEAPS UP
PETER Let me see those!
(HE TAKES THE PAPERS AND CERTIFICATES FROM HER)
Mary! is your name name Dark?
MARY Yes. I am Mary Dark.
PAUL No, Peter!
(PAUL TRIES TO SEIZE THE PAPERS AND CERTIFICATES. THE MEN STRUGGLE (MESSILY, NECESSARILY). PAUL MANAGES TO WREST THEM FROM PETER.)
These are false certificates! some of the stamps and seals are clearly made from crude cork or potato plunged in poster paint.
MARY Nonsense!
(SHE TRIES TO SEIZE THE PAPERS AND CERTIFICATES FROM PAUL. THEY STRUGGLE. SHE SUCCEEDS.
SHE STUDIES THE PAPERS AND CERTIFICATES, THEN SCREAMS IN HORROR.)
Aaagh!
PETER What is it, Mary?
MARY It’s Paul! He’s…he’s…
PETER What? What?
MARY He is John Dark!
PETER Who’s that then?
PAUL You little fool!
MARY John Dark is my father!